Article 3- Can men and women be friends?

Can men and women be friends?

 

I chose this article due to several reasons. Firstly, it is a hot issue among society and it has been discussed, had been discussed, and will be discussed. When I was in High School this issue took a peak point and attention among us. We had various perspectives on the issue then. Furthermore, it is an interesting and compelling topic. We, young people wander how the friendship between men and women can be constructed and then can be maintained successfully. In the article it is stated that men and women can be friends but there are some barriers that intervene that kind of relationship. Society is the main concern because people perceive the men and women friendship differently. Therefore, the tv serials that support men and women friendship did not change the mind of people, the stereotype. Yet, O’Meara conducted research on this issue and detected 4 challenges on constructing men and women friendship, then he added fifth: 1) Defining the friendship: friends or lovers?  2) Overcoming attraction: let’s talk about sex. 3) Establishing the equality: the power play. 4)  the public eyes: dealing with doubters. 5) The meeting place: finding friends. These may formidable but men and women relationship is not just possibility, it is necessity. They must interact with each other and it begins with kindergarten to career life. Hence, there are some certain truths about this situation: 1) friendship is not equal opportunity. 2) Men benefit more from cross-sex friendship than women. 3) …. But women benefit too. 4) cross-sex friendships are emotionally rewarding 5) it’s not all about sex 6) male-female friendships is political. Shortly, the writer gives us the barriers of building male-female friendships and results the problem or responds to the question that male-female friendship is something good rather than bad. Yet, I have some questions related to this issue. It is possible to construct male-female friendship but most of the this kind of friendship I observed ended up with love. They argue they are friends, it may continue for many years but eventually it leads love affair again. Hence, is it a fact? I do not know, it depends on people I guess. Sometimes just opposite situation happens; man or woman needs his or her cross-sex friend’s help in some circumstances. We cannot generalize it. I am on the side of supporting this issue because women or men do not have to choose their friends according their sex. The intuition is important in choosing right friend. Of course it may difficult a girl to understand a boy. Naturally, they differ from each other but there may be exceptions. Finally, this construction of friendship depends on the culture they live in. Perhaps, it is strictly forbidden in some countries or perceived really differently like losing your virginity for girls particularly. However, there are some countries that everyone is same. If you are in that kind of country it is a normal thing to build up cross-sex friendship.